Laloo got job in Microsoft Corporation
Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA.
A few days later he got this reply:
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.
Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.
He arranged a press conference : "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai."
Everyone was delighted. Laloo prasad continued...... "Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? Par letter angreeze main hai - isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ----- Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya
You do not meet -----aap to miltay hee naheen ho
Our requirement ----- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- AB Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
No phone call ----- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
Shall be entertained ----- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks ----- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.
Bill Gates. ---- Tohar Bilva.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Cleaning with Food
Here are some common household items that work as natural cleaning products.
Besides making food delicious, everyday ingredients such as salt, baking soda and lemons can do double duty as cleaning agents. Use them to mop up stubborn stains, deodorize your fridge or to polish your shoes. Here are some common household items that work as natural cleansing products.
Sodium bicarbonate, more commonly known as baking soda, is used to help dough rise when baking but it also makes a great deodorizer. Place an open box in the refrigerator and freezer to absorb odors. Baking soda causes dirt and grease to dissolve in water, so it is very effective in cleaning kitchen counter tops, refrigerators, and stove tops. When sprinkled on a sponge or dishrag, baking soda forms a mild, abrasive scouring powder.
This carbonated beverage works well in a mixed drink but it’s also effective in removing stains. The bubbling effect in club soda lifts stains much like bubbling detergent. Use it to remove coffee stains from mugs, clothing stains or stains for silver. People often say club soda and salt prevented red wine stains from setting but this was recently proven to be a myth. You can, however, use it to clean countertops and fixtures.
Cream of Tartar
Cream of tartar is often used to stabilize egg whites, increasing their heat tolerance and volume, but when combined with vinegar, it becomes a powerful cleaning agent. Use the mixture to clean encrusted pots, pans and stove tops.
Cornstarch is often used as a thickener in cooking but you can use it to sop up grease and oil. Cover the stain with cornstarch. Let it sit for 15 to 30 minutes then vacuum.
Lemon juice makes for a great cleaner. Use it to dissolve soap scum and hard water deposits, to clean and shine brass and copper and as a natural bleach. Cut a lemon in half and sprinkle baking soda on the cut section. Use it to scrub dishes, surfaces, and stains.
Mix 1 cup olive oil with ½ cup lemon juice to make a furniture polish for your hardwood furniture. Whiten your clothes by adding lemon juice to your wash water. Use lemon diluted in hot water to clean greasy wooden surfaces. To clean brass or silver, mix lemon juice and baking soda or cream of tartar into a paste with the same consistency as toothpaste. Rub onto brass with a soft cloth. Rinse with water and dry. Clean plastic containers stained with tomato sauce by rubbing the discoloured plastic container with lemon juice and then let them sit in the sun for a day. The sun and the lemon juice will bleach the plastic back to its original colour.
Not only does salt enhance the flavour in food, it’s also good for stains caused by red wine, tomato sauce and even blood. For wine stains, cover with salt to absorb the excess wine, and then rinse with cold water. For non-washables, scrape up the salt and vacuum the spot. For blood stains, soak the stained cloth item in cold saltwater, then wash in warm, soapy water and boil after the wash. This method works on cotton, linen or other natural fibers that can take the high heat. Remove white rings left on tables from wet or hot dishes or glasses by rubbing a thin paste of salad oil and salt on the spot with your fingers. Let it stand an hour or two, then wipe it clean. Take a big handful of salt, preferably coarse, and sprinkle surface of your wooden chopping board. Scrub the board with the cut side of a lemon half. The abrasive salt will scour the wood, and the lemon dissolves grease. You can also substitute white vinegar for lemon.
Here’s a tip for shining up scuffed shoes in a pinch. Use a damp cloth to wipe away dirt, then apply a small drop of vegetable oil to a soft cloth and rub the surface to remove scuff marks.
White vinegar is the all purpose, natural household cleaning agent. It is safe to use on most surfaces and has the added bonus of being cheap. Mix equal parts water to vinegar in a spray bottle and you have a solution that will clean most areas of your home. Not on does it clean, it also disinfects, deodorizes and bleaches. Mix one part white vinegar with one part water for a homemade bleach solution that will fade stains like wine, coffee and tomato sauce. Use an eyedropper or a Q-tip to make sure the bleach goes only on the stain. Remove mineral deposits from coffee makers with white vinegar. Fill the water reservoir with 1 cup or more of white distilled vinegar and run it through a whole cycle. Run it once or twice more with plain water to rinse clean. Remove stains from coffee and teacups by scrubbing them gently with equal parts of salt (or baking soda) and white distilled vinegar. Rinse clean. For stained and smelly plastic food containers wipe them with a cloth dampened with white distilled vinegar.
Monday, March 23, 2009
India: UP mango growers now turning towards litchi
Mango, which had been synonymous with Uttar Pradesh, is losing its popularity against litchi fast arresting attention from the state leethchi growers.
With climatic changes affecting agricultural production in Uttar Pradesh, mango growers, specially those in Saharanpur belt are fast turning towards leethchi production.
This came to the light in a research titled 'Impact of Climate Change on Mango Crop', carried out by Sudhir Mishra, commissioned by a non-government organisation Center for Science and Environment.
The study had revealed that due to rapid climatic changes in last one decade, farmers in Saharanpur belt have started growing leetchi in place of mango.
"Climatic changes have hit the mango production in this belt badly. Last year the entire crop was damaged first due to excessive cold and then by rains. Besides, various diseases hit production resulting in poor export," said Sanjay Arya, who is considered as a big mango producer.
Arya's observations are backed by another mango producer Rajpal Singh who claims that damage to the crop due to sudden climatic changes had become a regular phenomenon.
"Even if we have good production, mango produced in this belt, fail to compete with varities produced in South India which include Totapari, Alphonso and Ratna. Demand of South Indian varities is higher in off shore markets due to quality and taste," Singh said.
As compared to mango, the producers claimed that litchi was more lucrative.
"As Saharanpur is very close to Dehradun, which is a litchi belt, climate here conducive for production of this juicy fruit," they claimed.
In the last eight years, new leetchi gardens have been planted on nearly 300 hectare area in the region.
Singh claimed that if situation remains the same, UP will beat Uttranchal in terms of litchi production and will be ranked second after Bihar, which is the largest producer of this fruit.
A senior scientists of the Central Institute of Sub-tropical Horticulture S Rajan and deputy director of horticulture department Nandmanilal Tripathi said that turning towards litchi production was more of a compulsion for the growers in the region.
"Litchi production is more profitable as compared to mango. Besides, excessive use of pesticides and insecticides has affected the quality and quanity of mango in the area," they said.
In fact senior scientist of CISH too are studying the changes in pattern of mango production in the area.
Publication date: 3/2/2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Some Important Laws Which Newton Forgot to State..........
LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR : After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away and while this may not be necessarily true, there are in fact foods that can help limit trips to your M.D.
So, the next time your child complains of aches and pains, take a look around the house for these home-remedy ingredients before running off to the doc!
Below are the foods that are the best to eat, and do not cause allergy reactions.
Herb teas (no lemon or orange)
Pure freshly-juiced fruit juices without sugar or additives (dilute 50:50 with water)
Puffed rice and millet
Diluted apple juice, apple slices, and nuts go well on cereal.
Use almond milk or rice milk on cereal.
Grains and flour (All organic):
Cooked whole gains, such as oats, millet, barley, rice macaroni, spelt (flour and pasta), brown rice, rice, or millet breads (that contain no dairy, eggs, sugar, or wheat)
Tofu (eat no more than 2x weekly)
Protein (Organic and free-range):
Fresh (not farmed) tuna and other cold-water fish
All vegetables except corn are generally acceptable.
Tomatoes sometimes cause problems and should be avoided by susceptible individuals.
Treat a skin allergy with papaya seeds -
To help with the unbearable itch of a skin allergy mash some papaya seeds and apply to the rash.
Treat skin allergies with poppy seeds -
Grind 1 teaspoon of poppy seeds with 1 teaspoon of water and 1 teaspoon of lime juice. Apply this to the affected area. This method will help reduce and itch and redness.
Allergy treatment using tea's and juices -
Try any of the following teas and juices to help overcome symptoms: carrot juice, celery juice but don't use it if you suffer from high blood pressure.
Allergy treatment using local honey - That means, honey made by bees living near you - they forage the pollens of plants growing near you which may be causing the allergic reactions. Eating their honey helps to build up immunity to those pollens.
Allergy treatment using vitamin C -
Vitamin C 1,000 mg three to five times daily. Cut back on dosage if loose stools occur. Vitamin C has a natural antihistamine effect on the body.
Toothaches can be unbearable, but instead of rushing off to the drugstore to buy the latest product that might not work, use ground cloves to ease the pain. Cloves are a popular item in most spice racks, so there is a good chance you’ll already have this pain-reliever stashed away. Simply crush them up and apply to the affected tooth. Clove oil also works well, but is less common in households.
Mix powdered mustard with flour, add a little bit of water and make a good paste. Spread the paste on a tea towel or cloth. Then, fold the cloth over and place it on your child’s chest or throat. The burning of the mustard miraculously helps to stop irksome coughing. Be sure to remove the cloth if skin becomes irritated or burns.
Though onions usually make you cry, when it comes to bee stings they may actually help stop the tears. Applying a freshly cut onion to a bee sting or other bug bite helps relieve pain. In a pinch, onions can also be used to treat hives. Steeping some onions and honey together makes an effective cough syrup as well. Breathing in the onion fumes as they are boiling can also help to clear up chest congestion.
When your child comes to you complaining of an earache, some olive oil just might be the solution. Put a little oil in a container and place the container in boiling water to heat it. Place a few drops of olive oil (you can also use garlic oil) on a cotton ball and place it in the ear, or put a drop or two in the ear and cover with a cotton ball. The cotton should be left on for 10 - 15 minutes. The heat will help to draw out unwanted liquid in the ear.
Apple Cider Vinegar
Apple cider vinegar is a miracle substance with all kinds of uses. First, it’s great for cuts and scrapes. Applying a small amount to the latest skateboarding or biking injury will help fight infection and speed up the healing process. Second, using 3 or 4 drops can help clear up swimmer’s ear—a common problem with the younger set. The vinegar will disinfect and dry the ear out, eliminating itching and pain. Finally, placing a little daub of apple cider vinegar onto a cold sore can help heal it. The vinegar should be applied several times a day to assist with healing.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Pesticides, insecticides on mango crop taking birds lives
By Manoj Bhadra
Lucknow(UNI). The environmentalists and the scientists
are appalled over the death of small birds, including crows and
bulbuls, due to excessive use of 'banned' pesticides and
insecticides by the growers in the mango belts and other
fruit orchids of Uttar Pradesh.
The danger of even more serious repurcussions due to use of
pesticides and insecticides looms large in the Mango belts of UP
which produce some of the best varieties of the fruit famous not only
in India but abroad also.
Excessive use of the pesticides and insecticides particularly the
banned ones have caused deaths of birds in these regions and the
environmentalists and scientists have called for immediate remedial
measures to save the lives of the birds.
The experts, however, indicate the climate change and global
warming could be the other two reasons for extermination of birds
but indiscreet use of pesticides and insecticides could definitely
be the cause. ''With mango season on the anvil, the trend would
even be intensified and some way out has to be evolved to save the
lives of the birds,''experts feel.
Padamshree awardee renowned Mango grower of the state Kalimullah
confirmed that he had himself seen several birds dying after
consuming pesticides sprayed on the trees.
'' Earlier we used to witness sweet lyrics of the birds in the
spring season but now it is missing largely due to absence of enough
birds left,'' he told UNI. Adding that now in Mahilabad mango grove
crows were also rarely seen.
Kalimullah, who achieved distinction of growing different variety
of Mangoes on one tree in Mahilabad,the famous mango belt in Lucknow
district about 25 kms from the state capital headquarters, said
the change of climate had forced the growers to maximise the use of
pesticides to prevent the mango fruit to get damaged by the insects.
Admitting that the pesticides used nowdays were very powerful,
another mango grower said he had witnessed several times of birds
dying after consuming the dead insects in the impact of the
pesticides.Eminent environmentalists and ornithologist Dr Asad Rahmani also
expressed his concern on the downfall of the population of small
birds in the fruit belts of the state.
'' Though there was no clear cut-evidence of the real reason
behind the birds deaths but still the population of the bird were
fast declining'', he said.
Dr Rahmani, who is also the director of non-government
organisation Bombay Natural History Society, said there were
information about death of birds in Rampur, Saharanpur, and other
parts of Eastern UP.
Meanwhile, a study report by Centre for Science and
Envoronment(CSE) fellowship awardee Sudhir Mishra said the birds
inclduing crow, bulbul and others were being wiped out fast in the
mango belt of Malihabad in Lucknow known for its international fame
He called upon a concerted effort by Horticulture, Agriculture
and other related departments to stop the trend. New mango varieties
which can withstand the vagaries of the climate were required to be
developed by the scientists and mango growers of the state, he added.
Mr Mishra was of the view that the change in temperature was not
that substantial over the last many decades but the erratic changes
in the climate effected the mango crop which in turn necessiated the
use of deadly pesticides and insecticides.
Terming that change in the climate condition resulted in more use
of the pesticides leading to the death of the birds, the study said
use of banned synthetic pesticides by the farmers as they were
cheaper was aggravated this aspect of environmental hazard.
Earlier two decades back the mango growers of Malihabad used to
spray pesticides once during the season but the now the situation
had demanded spraying at least six times more, specially since the
last season mango crop was not too good.
A senior scientist of the Central Institute for Sub-tropical
Horticulture also said the farmers should not use the banned
pesticides and insecticides. He also admitted that use of powerful
pesticides was having a negative impact on the birds population in
UNI MB SB GL VC1136
Sunday, March 8, 2009
National Science Day Celebrations
Hon'ble Union Minister for S&T and Earth Sciences Shri Kapil Sibal; Member(Science, Technology & Environment) Planning Commission Padma Bhushan Dr. V.L. Chopra, Er. Anuj Sinha, Sci'G' & Head(RVPSP), Shri R. Saha, Sci.'G' & Head (S&S) and Dr. D.K. Pandey, Sci 'E' during National Science Day Celebration at Raman Auditorium, Technology Bhawan, New Delhi on 27th February, 2009.
Proud Winners and Dignitaries witnessing the Celebrations
On behalf of Vikram A Sarabhai Community Science Centre, Ahmedabad, Shri Dilip Sarkar received the National Award for Outstanding Effort in S&T Communication (Rs.2,00,000/-)
National Award for Outstanding Effort in S&T Communication through Books & Magazines(Rs.1,00,000/-) Hon'ble Union Minister for S&T and Earth Sciences Shri Kapil Sibal giving award to Dr. Pramod Kumar Mohapatra, Cuttack.
For Outstanding Effort in S&T Communication and Popularization among Children (Rs.1,00,000/-), the National Award was given to Jidnyasa Trust Thane. Shri Surender Dighe receiving award from Hon'ble Union Minister for S&T and Earth Sciences Shri Kapil Sibal.
For Outstanding Effort in S&T Communication & Popularization among Children, the National Award (Rs.1,00,000/-) was given to Shri G.S. Unni Krishnan Nair, Trivandrum by Hon'ble Union Minister for S&T and Earth Sciences Shri Kapil Sibal.
National Award for Outstanding Effort in S&T Communication through Electronic Media (Rs.1,00,000/-) Ms. Meenu Khare of Lucknow received the award from Hon'ble Union Minister for S&T and Earth Sciences Shri Kapil Sibal.
Hon'ble Union Minister for S&T and Earth Sciences Shri Kapil Sibal. Releasing the publication - Bibliography on Science Communication.
Kit on Weather & Climate was released by Dr. V.L. Chopra.
CD on "Fun with Physics" by Vigyan Prasar was released by Dr. V.L. Chopra.
Padma Bhushan Dr. V.L. Chopra, Member (Science, Technology & Environment) Planning Commission, Govt. of India, delivering the National Science Day Lecture.
Chief Guest Hon'ble Union Minister for S&T and Earth Sciences Shri Kapil Sibal addressing the dignitaries.
Friday, March 6, 2009
IF TITANIC WAS MADE IN INDIA....
1) There would be 10 times as many people on the ship
2) There would be a song with Kate Winslet in a white saree and of course singing in the rain!
3) The movie would be called "Pyar Kiya To Marna Kya"
4) Hero and Heroine would float in cold water for days and still survive, but the villian would die in the first dip.
5) The iceberg would be sent by the heroine's father to teach the hero a lesson.
6) None of the women would float due to heavy designer sarees.