Softwarism !! ( IT Humor )

Softwarism !! ( IT Humor )




Gandhism:

You have two cows. But you drink goat's milk.

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Indiraism:

You have two bulls. You adamantly consider them as cows.

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Lalooism:

You have two cows. You buy Rs. 900 Crore worth of cattlefeed for them.

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Rajnikantism:

You have two cows. You throw them into air and catch their milk in your mouth.

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Rajivism:

You have two cows. You paint them both to get colourful milk.

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Softwarism:(Ultimate....):

Client has 2 cows and u need to milk them


1 . First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kick off)

2 . Prepare a document how long you have to milk them (Project plan)

3 . Then prepare how to milk them (Design)

4 . Then prepare what other accessories are needed to milk them (Framework)

5 . Then prepare a 2 dummy cows (sort of toy cows) and show to client the way in which u will milk them (UI Mockups & POC)

6 . If client is not satisfied then redo from step 2

7 . You actually start milking them and find that there are few problem with accessories. (Change framework)

8 . Redo step 4

9 . At last milk them and send it to onsite. (Coding over)

10. Make sure that cow milks properly ( Testing)

11. Onsite reports that it is not milking there.

12. You break your head and find that onsite is trying to milk from bulls

13. At last onsite milk them and send to client (Testing)

14. Client says the quality of milk is not good. (User Acceptance Test)

15. Offsite then slogs and improves the quality of milk

16. Now the client says that the quality is good but its milking at slow rate (performance issue)

17. Again you slog and send it with good performance.

18. Client is happy???

By this time both the COWs aged and cant milk. (The software got old and get ready for next release repeat from step 1) !!!!!

The Jaipur Foot

Jaipurfoot

The world's first sub-$40 artificial foot.

The Jaipur Foot was developed in India 1970 by orthopaedic surgeon Dr Pramod Karan Sethi and sculptor Ram Chandra. It provided an appropriate, low cost and aesthetic alternative to the Western limb designs otherwise available. The design has revolutionised the lives of thousands of amputees in the developing world.

Bhagwan Mahavir Viklang Sahayata Samiti (BMVSS), the world's largest charitable organization offers artificial limbs free of charge to those in need. With Mr. D. R. Mehta as the founder, the organization is well known for the development of the "Jaipur foot," the world's first sub-$40 artificial foot, an inexpensive and durable prosthetic. Though many of the recipients of these limbs were originally injured by land mines, Mehta was inspired to found the agency after his own serious car accident.

The modified Jaipur foot has the rubber and wooden ankle block substituted by the more durable Poly-Urethane micro cellular foams are lighter, and could be produced in large numbers in minimum time with improved quality, providing added comfort, gait and durability for the amputees.

PU foot prostheses are bio-mechanically advantageous as far as comfort and injury prevention are concerned. Slip resistance of the PU foot is much higher than other materials. Moreover, slip resistance of the PU material studied over wet and oily surface is also found to be much higher in comparison to rubber and allied materials. Thus, amputees using PU foot prostheses can walk more safely on any type of surface. Besides, its abrasion resistance being higher, PU foot also lasts longer. PU foam foot moulded with cosmetically attractive skin covers made of Poly-Urethanes are found to be more acceptable to amputees and a number of amputees were successfully fitted with such prostheses.


Dont stop Dancing

Famous for dancing on her 'Jaipur foot', Sudha Chandran is a famous Indian actress and classical dancer. Having lost a leg in an accident in 1982, her unshakable will to dance put her back on her feet after indomitable struggle. With the help of the Jaipur foot, which is essentially an artificial leg with which one is capable of working on a farm or even climbing a tree, combined with her persistent effort to perform again, she found herself back on stage. In 1984, a film called Mayuri was made based on her life story: her dancing, her severe accident, then the painful struggle to recovery followed by her triumph over her disability moving on gracefully with her life. This film was translated from Telegu into Hindi entitled Nache Mayuri as well as in English with the same title as her name, Sudha Chandran.


She has shown rare courage and determination to continue the art she loved, adored and practised to perfection, despite her disability and has been performing with no trace of the handicap, fate has imposed on her in all cruelty. In the living memory of the history of any dance system in the world, never has there been a case of a dancer retrieving her glory after having been disabled as did this "Wonder Girl" from Mumbai.


Today, she is an international celebrity, a symbol of hope for millions of disabled all over the world. Millions of students learn her life story in their text books.

World's first swimming car

Three decades ago James Bond (then enacted by British star Roger Moore) wowed the world with a car that could 'fly' under water in the movie The Spy Who Loved Me. Only, it was animation and not an actual scene.


But Frank M Rinderknecht, the 52-year-old automobile visionary and boss of Swiss automaker Rinspeed, has turned a dream into reality with his 'sQuba.'

Rinspeed sQuba is the most exciting thing at this year's Geneva Motor Show and is creating many a ripple.

sQuba is the world's first real submersible car that can 'move like a fish underwater'.

It can dive up to 32.8 feet (10 mt) below the surface of the water and can move at a sedate 1.8 miles per hour.

The sQuba has an open cockpit for 'safety reasons' (so that people can get out easily anytime in case of an emergency). The occupants of the car have to breathe compressed air through built-in scuba masks.

sQuba is an electric car that uses rechargeable lithium-ion batteries and 3 electric motors for propulsion. It is a zero-emission car as documented by the rotating license plate in the rear. It produces no exhaust emissions.

The 'sQuba's' filling station is the water reservoir.? It is no surprise that the vehicle features powerful yet energy-saving LED lighting technology.
The first car that could drive underwater was Quandt's Amphibicar, built in 1968. Only 3,878 were produced but many are still being driven on roads.

Then Gibbs Technologies came up with Gibbs Aquada in 2004 which Virgin boss Richard Branson used to break the speed record for crossing the English Channel.
However, the sQuba seems to be the most exciting of them all.

To drive on the roads, the sQuba 'relies on a stainless coil-over suspension from KW automotive and large Pirelli tires mounted on custom-made forged light-weight wheels from AEZ with 17- and 18-inch diameters.'

Courtesy:comogy.com

Scientology : A Religion founded by a SCI-FI Writer

The Scientology religion ESTABLISHED IN THE 50'S
is an expanding new religion, founded by American SCI FI WRITER
and humanitarian L. Ron Hubbard. The word Scientology means the "study of knowledge or truth" and addresses the rehabilitation and salvation of the human spirit.

According to a Scientology website:

"Today its more than 6,000 churches, missions, related organizations, groups and activities span the globe and minister the religion to more than eight million people in 159 countries in over 66 languages."

Additionally, Churches of Scientology support more than a thousand social betterment groups, which utilize L. Ron Hubbard's methods in the fields of education, drug and criminal rehabilitation, and moral rejuvenation.

The total number of Scientologists in the world is extremely difficult to estimate, for a variety of reasons. Estimates range from 100 thousand to 10 million.

The Church has expanded more in the last five years than in the preceding fifty. In the last year alone, new Scientology groups, missions and churches have opened at the rate of three per day.

What Scientologists Believe

Belief in Deity
Scientology considers the belief in a God or gods as something personal and therefore offers no specific dogma. The nature of the Supreme Being is revealed personally through each individual as s/he becomes more conscious and spiritually aware. There exists a life energy or force (Theta) beyond and within all.


• Incarnations
There are no particular human incarnations of God, as the universal life force (Theta) is inherent in all. All humans are immortal spiritual beings (thetans) capable of realizing a nearly godlike state through Scientology practices.


• Origin of Universe and Life
All is manifestation of the universal spirit, which is all that actually exists.


• After Death
Rebirths continue until one consciously confronts all pre-birth, current-life, and previous-life traumas and realizes one's true nature as a "thetan," immortal spirit--transcending matter, energy, space, and time. Achieving this state enables the spirit to escape the cycle of birth and death--to operate independently of the physical universe and become one with God.


• Why Evil?
Painful experiences and harmful acts in one's prebirth, current, and past lives become imprinted in the reactive mind and lead to irrational behavior. Departures from rational thought and untrue ideas ("aberrations") can result in wrongdoing.


• Salvation
Salvation is achieved through the practices and techniques of Scientology, the ultimate goal of which is to realize one's true nature as an immortal spirit, a thetan. The path to salvation, or enlightenment, includes achieving states of increasingly greater mental awareness--Pre-Clear, Clear, and ultimately Operating Thetan. An Operating Thetan is a spirit who can control matter, energy, space, time, thought, and life. Practitioners ("Auditors") are regarded as ministers and counselors who assist others to achieve self-enlightenment. Auditors help others to identify their prebirth, current, and past-life disturbances, which are obstacles to happiness and spiritual enlightenment.


• Undeserved Suffering
Suffering occurs as part of the spirit's entrapment here in the physical universe. Only when the individual is aware of his spiritual nature can he identify his barriers within the universe and overcome them, rising out of a lower state and into a higher state of happiness and freedom.


• Contemporary Issues
Based on the belief that you cannot free yourself spiritually without working to free others, Scientology has founded and supports many organizations for social betterment, particularly in the areas of drug abuse, crime, psychiatric abuse, government abuse of law, human rights, religious freedom, education, and morality. Scientology strongly favors the use of their methodology for spiritual/mental healing over the use of conventional treatment.

New Year Gifts for you : from Electronics and IT

PLEASE COMMENT IF YOU LIKE THE GIFTS!!!!!!!!!

New Year's Resolution : Use Olive Oil

WISH YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!



Use Olive Oil : To Prevent Cancer













If you want to avoid developing cancer, then you might want to add eating more olive oil to your list of New Year's resolutions. In a study scientists from five European countries describe how the anti-cancer effects of olive oil may account for the significant difference in cancer rates among Northern and Southern Europeans.


The authors drew this conclusion based on the outcomes of volunteers from Denmark, Finland, Germany, Italy, and Spain, who consumed 25 milliliters (a little less than a quarter cup) of olive oil every day for three weeks. During this time, the researchers examined urine samples of the subjects for specific compounds known to be waste by-products of oxidative damage to cells, a precursor to cancer. At the beginning of the trial, the presence of these waste by-products was much higher in Northern European subjects than their Southern European counterparts. By the end of three weeks, however, the presence of this compound in Northern European subjects was substantially reduced.

"Determining the health benefits of any particular food is challenging because of it involves relatively large numbers of people over significant periods of time," said lead investigator Henrik E. Poulsen, M.D. of Rigshospitalet, Denmark. "In our study, we overcame these challenges by measuring how olive oil affected the oxidation of our genes, which is closely linked to development of disease. This approach allows us to determine if olive oil or any other food makes a difference. Our findings must be confirmed, but every piece of evidence so far points to olive oil being a healthy food. By the way, it also tastes great."

Another interesting finding in the study suggests that researchers are just beginning to unlock the mysteries of this ancient "health food." Specifically, the researchers found evidence that the phenols in olive oil are not the only compounds that reduced oxidative damage. Phenols are known antioxidant compounds that are present in a wide range of everyday foods, such as dark chocolate, red wine, tea, fruits, and vegetables. Despite reducing the level of phenols in the olive oil, the study's subjects still showed that they were receiving the same level of health benefits.

"Every New Year people make resolutions that involve eating less fat to improve their health," said Gerald Weissmann, MD, Editor-in-Chief of The FASEB Journal. "This academically sound, practically useful study shows that what you eat is just as important as how much you eat. No wonder Plato taught wisdom in an olive grove called Academe."

The FASEB Journal (http://www.fasebj.org) is published by the Federation of American Societies for Experimental Biology (FASEB) and is consistently ranked among the top three biology journals worldwide by the Institute for Scientific Information. FASEB comprises 21 nonprofit societies with more than 80,000 members, making it the largest coalition of biomedical research associations in the United States. FASEB's mission is to enhance the ability of biomedical and life scientists to improve -- through their research -- the health, well-being, and productivity of all people. FASEB serves the interests of these scientists in those areas related to public policy, facilitates coalition activities among member societies, and disseminates information on biological research through scientific conferences and publications.


Courtesy:ScienceDaily