Softwarism !! ( IT Humor )

Softwarism !! ( IT Humor )




Gandhism:

You have two cows. But you drink goat's milk.

*******

Indiraism:

You have two bulls. You adamantly consider them as cows.

*******

Lalooism:

You have two cows. You buy Rs. 900 Crore worth of cattlefeed for them.

*******




Rajnikantism:

You have two cows. You throw them into air and catch their milk in your mouth.

*******

Rajivism:

You have two cows. You paint them both to get colourful milk.

*******

Softwarism:(Ultimate....):

Client has 2 cows and u need to milk them


1 . First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kick off)

2 . Prepare a document how long you have to milk them (Project plan)

3 . Then prepare how to milk them (Design)

4 . Then prepare what other accessories are needed to milk them (Framework)

5 . Then prepare a 2 dummy cows (sort of toy cows) and show to client the way in which u will milk them (UI Mockups & POC)

6 . If client is not satisfied then redo from step 2

7 . You actually start milking them and find that there are few problem with accessories. (Change framework)

8 . Redo step 4

9 . At last milk them and send it to onsite. (Coding over)

10. Make sure that cow milks properly ( Testing)

11. Onsite reports that it is not milking there.

12. You break your head and find that onsite is trying to milk from bulls

13. At last onsite milk them and send to client (Testing)

14. Client says the quality of milk is not good. (User Acceptance Test)

15. Offsite then slogs and improves the quality of milk

16. Now the client says that the quality is good but its milking at slow rate (performance issue)

17. Again you slog and send it with good performance.

18. Client is happy???

By this time both the COWs aged and cant milk. (The software got old and get ready for next release repeat from step 1) !!!!!

World's first swimming car

Three decades ago James Bond (then enacted by British star Roger Moore) wowed the world with a car that could 'fly' under water in the movie The Spy Who Loved Me. Only, it was animation and not an actual scene.


But Frank M Rinderknecht, the 52-year-old automobile visionary and boss of Swiss automaker Rinspeed, has turned a dream into reality with his 'sQuba.'

Rinspeed sQuba is the most exciting thing at this year's Geneva Motor Show and is creating many a ripple.

sQuba is the world's first real submersible car that can 'move like a fish underwater'.

It can dive up to 32.8 feet (10 mt) below the surface of the water and can move at a sedate 1.8 miles per hour.

The sQuba has an open cockpit for 'safety reasons' (so that people can get out easily anytime in case of an emergency). The occupants of the car have to breathe compressed air through built-in scuba masks.

sQuba is an electric car that uses rechargeable lithium-ion batteries and 3 electric motors for propulsion. It is a zero-emission car as documented by the rotating license plate in the rear. It produces no exhaust emissions.

The 'sQuba's' filling station is the water reservoir.? It is no surprise that the vehicle features powerful yet energy-saving LED lighting technology.
The first car that could drive underwater was Quandt's Amphibicar, built in 1968. Only 3,878 were produced but many are still being driven on roads.

Then Gibbs Technologies came up with Gibbs Aquada in 2004 which Virgin boss Richard Branson used to break the speed record for crossing the English Channel.
However, the sQuba seems to be the most exciting of them all.

To drive on the roads, the sQuba 'relies on a stainless coil-over suspension from KW automotive and large Pirelli tires mounted on custom-made forged light-weight wheels from AEZ with 17- and 18-inch diameters.'

Courtesy:comogy.com

Scientology : A Religion founded by a SCI-FI Writer

The Scientology religion ESTABLISHED IN THE 50'S
is an expanding new religion, founded by American SCI FI WRITER
and humanitarian L. Ron Hubbard. The word Scientology means the "study of knowledge or truth" and addresses the rehabilitation and salvation of the human spirit.

According to a Scientology website:

"Today its more than 6,000 churches, missions, related organizations, groups and activities span the globe and minister the religion to more than eight million people in 159 countries in over 66 languages."

Additionally, Churches of Scientology support more than a thousand social betterment groups, which utilize L. Ron Hubbard's methods in the fields of education, drug and criminal rehabilitation, and moral rejuvenation.

The total number of Scientologists in the world is extremely difficult to estimate, for a variety of reasons. Estimates range from 100 thousand to 10 million.

The Church has expanded more in the last five years than in the preceding fifty. In the last year alone, new Scientology groups, missions and churches have opened at the rate of three per day.

What Scientologists Believe

Belief in Deity
Scientology considers the belief in a God or gods as something personal and therefore offers no specific dogma. The nature of the Supreme Being is revealed personally through each individual as s/he becomes more conscious and spiritually aware. There exists a life energy or force (Theta) beyond and within all.


• Incarnations
There are no particular human incarnations of God, as the universal life force (Theta) is inherent in all. All humans are immortal spiritual beings (thetans) capable of realizing a nearly godlike state through Scientology practices.


• Origin of Universe and Life
All is manifestation of the universal spirit, which is all that actually exists.


• After Death
Rebirths continue until one consciously confronts all pre-birth, current-life, and previous-life traumas and realizes one's true nature as a "thetan," immortal spirit--transcending matter, energy, space, and time. Achieving this state enables the spirit to escape the cycle of birth and death--to operate independently of the physical universe and become one with God.


• Why Evil?
Painful experiences and harmful acts in one's prebirth, current, and past lives become imprinted in the reactive mind and lead to irrational behavior. Departures from rational thought and untrue ideas ("aberrations") can result in wrongdoing.


• Salvation
Salvation is achieved through the practices and techniques of Scientology, the ultimate goal of which is to realize one's true nature as an immortal spirit, a thetan. The path to salvation, or enlightenment, includes achieving states of increasingly greater mental awareness--Pre-Clear, Clear, and ultimately Operating Thetan. An Operating Thetan is a spirit who can control matter, energy, space, time, thought, and life. Practitioners ("Auditors") are regarded as ministers and counselors who assist others to achieve self-enlightenment. Auditors help others to identify their prebirth, current, and past-life disturbances, which are obstacles to happiness and spiritual enlightenment.


• Undeserved Suffering
Suffering occurs as part of the spirit's entrapment here in the physical universe. Only when the individual is aware of his spiritual nature can he identify his barriers within the universe and overcome them, rising out of a lower state and into a higher state of happiness and freedom.


• Contemporary Issues
Based on the belief that you cannot free yourself spiritually without working to free others, Scientology has founded and supports many organizations for social betterment, particularly in the areas of drug abuse, crime, psychiatric abuse, government abuse of law, human rights, religious freedom, education, and morality. Scientology strongly favors the use of their methodology for spiritual/mental healing over the use of conventional treatment.

New Year Gifts for you : from Electronics and IT

PLEASE COMMENT IF YOU LIKE THE GIFTS!!!!!!!!!

New Year's Resolution : Use Olive Oil

WISH YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!



Use Olive Oil : To Prevent Cancer













If you want to avoid developing cancer, then you might want to add eating more olive oil to your list of New Year's resolutions. In a study scientists from five European countries describe how the anti-cancer effects of olive oil may account for the significant difference in cancer rates among Northern and Southern Europeans.


The authors drew this conclusion based on the outcomes of volunteers from Denmark, Finland, Germany, Italy, and Spain, who consumed 25 milliliters (a little less than a quarter cup) of olive oil every day for three weeks. During this time, the researchers examined urine samples of the subjects for specific compounds known to be waste by-products of oxidative damage to cells, a precursor to cancer. At the beginning of the trial, the presence of these waste by-products was much higher in Northern European subjects than their Southern European counterparts. By the end of three weeks, however, the presence of this compound in Northern European subjects was substantially reduced.

"Determining the health benefits of any particular food is challenging because of it involves relatively large numbers of people over significant periods of time," said lead investigator Henrik E. Poulsen, M.D. of Rigshospitalet, Denmark. "In our study, we overcame these challenges by measuring how olive oil affected the oxidation of our genes, which is closely linked to development of disease. This approach allows us to determine if olive oil or any other food makes a difference. Our findings must be confirmed, but every piece of evidence so far points to olive oil being a healthy food. By the way, it also tastes great."

Another interesting finding in the study suggests that researchers are just beginning to unlock the mysteries of this ancient "health food." Specifically, the researchers found evidence that the phenols in olive oil are not the only compounds that reduced oxidative damage. Phenols are known antioxidant compounds that are present in a wide range of everyday foods, such as dark chocolate, red wine, tea, fruits, and vegetables. Despite reducing the level of phenols in the olive oil, the study's subjects still showed that they were receiving the same level of health benefits.

"Every New Year people make resolutions that involve eating less fat to improve their health," said Gerald Weissmann, MD, Editor-in-Chief of The FASEB Journal. "This academically sound, practically useful study shows that what you eat is just as important as how much you eat. No wonder Plato taught wisdom in an olive grove called Academe."

The FASEB Journal (http://www.fasebj.org) is published by the Federation of American Societies for Experimental Biology (FASEB) and is consistently ranked among the top three biology journals worldwide by the Institute for Scientific Information. FASEB comprises 21 nonprofit societies with more than 80,000 members, making it the largest coalition of biomedical research associations in the United States. FASEB's mission is to enhance the ability of biomedical and life scientists to improve -- through their research -- the health, well-being, and productivity of all people. FASEB serves the interests of these scientists in those areas related to public policy, facilitates coalition activities among member societies, and disseminates information on biological research through scientific conferences and publications.


Courtesy:ScienceDaily

Amazing Medical Implants:science fiction becoming a reality

Top 5 amazing medical implants

Plugging a heart into the wall, implanting radioactive seeds, and using hydraulics to create erections, medical implants are advancing at an astounding pace.

What once seemed like far-fetched science fiction is now fast becoming a reality. We picked our top five amazing implants. Here they are in descending order.5. Radioactive seed implants
Radioactive seed implants, also called brachytherapy, is used to treat early stage prostate cancer.
Small rice-sized radioactive seeds are implanted into the prostate by using a tube-like needle. The radioactive emissions from the seeds attack the tumour in a similar way to external radiation.

The radiation usually only travels for a very short distance, and does not adversely affect the area around the prostate, as can radiotherapy.

It is a bit like sneaking a bomb into enemy territory.

4. Bionic eye
Until recently, the ability to restore sight was just not something we could get right. But that seems to be changing. There are a number of amazing techniques in the pipeline, but the bionic eye makes our list for its glittering sci-fi appeal.
A grid of electrodes is surgically planted into the eye to form an artificial retina. But this retina does not see by itself: a small camera is mounted on a special pair of glasses. The information is then processed by a small computer, and wirelessly transmitted to the artificial retina.

As yet, these bionic eyes are only delivering very poor and rudimentary vision. But, this is the kind of technology that can only get better.

3. Deep brain stimulation
With deep brain stimulation, electrodes are implanted into particular areas of the brain. From here, wires run under the skin to a neurostimulator implanted in the chest.
The technique has been used with some success for Parkinson’s disease and is being put on trial as a treatment for depression. Exactly why electrical pulses may send your blues packing is still unknown.

In whatever way it works, an implant that regulates your mood sounds so sci-fi that it was always going to make our list.


2. 2. Hydraulic penal implants
When medication fails to get rid of erectile dysfunction, the next step may well be a penile implant.
Hydraulic penile implants consist of three main parts: two cylinders that are implanted into the penis, a pump implanted into the scrotum, and a fluid reservoir in the lower abdomen.

When a man wants an erection, he simply uses the pump to pump liquid into the cylinders, which makes them expand, and the penis erect. There are some risks associated with implanting these devices. But they do have a remarkably good satisfaction rate. This one makes our list for the innovative way in which it applies simple engineering principles inside the body.


1. Heart pumps

Imagine you are feeling a bit tired. You feel light-headed, and your heart is struggling. You sit down, plug yourself into the wall socket, and soon everything clears up and your heart is beating normally again.

So-called heart pumps help the hearts of certain heart failure patients pump more blood. Effectively, these pumps take over the work of one or two of the lower heart ventricles.

The implanted pump is powered by batteries which are carried outside the body. And in some cases, patients can power their pumps by plugging them directly into a wall socket.

A truly artificial heart may still be very far off, but heart pumps already represent one of the most amazing ways in which life can be extended.



Sources:
MayoClinic.com

e-Toon (Smiling is not mandatory)

F1 !!!!!!!

Bionic Man: From Science fiction to Science Fact

Science fiction is being transformed into science fact using tiny implants effectively to channel brain-waves to prosthetic limbs.
Children of the 1970s will remember the American TV series The Six Million Dollar Man featuring Steve Austin as a bionic man.
Micro Bridge Services, based at Cardiff University, south Wales, is pioneering work which brings that fiction close to reality.
It is a leader in micro-engineering design and manufacture and possibly the only firm in the world capable of creating the implants.
The implants are the size of a match head which carries 100 sensors made of extremely hard tungsten carbide which conducts electricity.
The sensors are only slightly thicker than a human hair and sit on the brain picking up nerve impulses to relay to prosthetic limbs.
The hope is the technology will be instrumental in allowing amputees to learn to move prosthetic limbs and regain lost mobility.
Micro Bridge Services Ltd was set up by Cardiff University to tap the commercial potential of research being done there.
Researchers at Utah University, in the USA, asked the Cardiff Company to develop micro-needle array sensors which are durable.
The American team had already been successful developing implants capable of manipulating computers and prosthetic appendages.
But the implants had been made of silicon which proved to be brittle and had a useful life of less than a year.
The micro-needle array needed to be hardy but capable of penetrating deep enough into the brain to pick up electrical signals.
As a pioneer in its field its ability to manufacture the tiny micro-needle array precisely using an extremely strong material proved vital.
The implant works by detecting electrical signals from the brain, amplifying them then transmitting them to produce movements in the prosthetic limbs.
A patient fitted with an implant literally has to learn to think the correct mental activity to get the required response from the system.
Weeks of training are necessary but tests on volunteers have already shown promising results.
The outcome, is supposed to be what people call a bionic man.
For the future the hope is that the technology could be used on patients paralyzed in accidents which damage the spine.
The implant would be placed on the spinal column effectively bridging the injury and allowing them to relearn how to move.

--By Richard Alleyne

Green-Computers: PC's Going Green

PCs Going Green


AS a joint initiative between the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA),USA and the Minnesota Pollution Control Agency, "Green Computers" are going to come in the market to tackle one of the biggest causes of e-waste: corporate computers.

The federal program, called the Electronic Product Environmental Assessment Tool, or EPEAT, is designed to help large companies and institutions procure more laptops, desktop computers, printers, and handheld electronic devices that won't harm the environment. The goal is to heighten demand for green computers, which don't include cadmium, mercury, chromium, lead, PVCs, certain flame retardants, and other problematic materials.


So far, 16 computer manufacturers have registered to sell EPEAT-approved products. The federal government has committed to buying about $40 billion worth of the green computers, which are not expected to cost more than conventional computers.
The 16 companies include most of the heavy hitters--Apple, Sony, Dell, HP, and Gateway. The article also notes that just from purchases made by the federal government, EPEAT-registered computers could reduce enough energy to power 72,630 households for a year (saving $71.4 million in energy costs) and reduce toxic materials by 75.1 metric tons.


PC and electronics makers are going greener bit by bit, with Dell a good example in the U.S.--its Dell Earth program is voluntarily moving toward compliance with the European RoHS (Return of Hazardous Substances) standard, which EcoGeek notes has "virtually eliminated the use of lead on their motherboards, power supplies and chassis." Dell is also jumping on the carbon offset bandwagon to help assuage your guilt with planted trees. You can also go to the Dell Earth Web site to calculate energy consumed by several iterations of Dell PCs (along with connected peripherals).


But if you really want to go green with your new PC, ExtremeTech suggests going the DIY route. It offers recommendations on individual components--from a power supply that complies with 80 PLUS efficiency requirements to an energy-sipping Intel Core 2 Duo E6700 processor. But if you're not so adventurous ,you can add to your current system as well as settings for optimizing Windows Vista.

Treehugger.com has released a list of the top 10 ways you can make your home greener by more efficient use of your electronics.

And if not doing it for the planet, what about your wallet? “40% of the energy used for electronics in your home is used while these devices are turned off.” according to Treehugger. Think of what that could do for your electric bill!! So, buy you a few power strips and flip them off when not using your entertainment centers.
Courtesy: MyGreenElectronics.com

Green Energy: Algae Fuel

The farmers around the world have missed their last chance to become the next Bill Gates as algae might replace ethnol as the Gen X fuel. But the best part is no country now has to invade counties to fulfill its fuel addiction.
Imagine a fuel which grows anywhere by sunlight and water which could produce enough oil to free the world from fuel crises. Though algae sound a strange contender for the veil of Worlds Next Great Fuel’ it has individuality in its favor. Algae, made up of simple aquatic organisms that capture light energy through photosynthesis, produces vegetable oil. Vegetable oil, in turn, can be transformed into biodiesel, which can be used to power just about any diesel engine.
Algae have some important advantages over other oil-producing crops, like canola and soybeans. It can be grown in almost any enclosed space, it multiplies like gangbusters, and it requires very few inputs to flourish-mainly just sunlight, water and carbon dioxide. Its high surface-area-to-volume ratio makes it able to absorb nutrients very quickly. Absolutely, its small size makes it persuasive. Infact, it doesn’t need fertile soil to flourish; it grows in ponds, bags and tanks which could be set up anywhere.
Solix Biofuels claims that these competencies will allow them to create algae-based biodiesel that costs about the same as gasoline, or even less. It’s a long way to go for Solix for such a fuel. They’ll have to discover which species of algae will produce the most oil and what’s the best way to grow it? The research and debate about it is intense and could take couple of years to instigate.
Algae Biomass Summit was was held on October 23 and 24, in Seattle. It was hosted by the Algal Biomass Association to help developing and commercializing algae biofuels. The two-day event has provided a broad overview of the industry: among the speakers were scientists, policymakers and investors.Algae has a great deal of promise for biofuels because of its rapid growth rate. Experiments in producing oil from algae have had impressively high outputs. An acre of algae could produce thousands of gallons of oil in a year, with estimates ranging as high as 20,000 gallons for some varieties. The next best plant matter for biodiesel is Chinese tallow, capable of producing perhaps 700 gallons in a year.

Beauty of Mathematics !!!!!!!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321

New Species Found in Asian Sea?

A square jaw and edgy brow give a distinctive profile to this boxfish, one of many exotic marine creatures recently found by scientists exploring Southeast Asia's Celebes Sea.

The international team of researchers recently returned from two weeks in the Celebes, a little-explored sea between Malaysia and the Philippines that is home to one of the world's deepest ocean basins.

The Celebes's relative isolation and chilly depths make it one of the world's most richly diverse marine habitats, likely hosting species that have lived in seclusion for millions of years, expedition leader Larry Madin told the Associated Press.

"This is probably the center where many of the species evolved and spread to other parts of the ocean, so it's going back to the source in many ways," said Madin, who is director of research at the Massachusetts-based Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution (WHOI).

The team found several species that are likely new to science, Madin added, including a swimming sea cucumber, a black jellyfish, and a spiny orange worm with tentacles growing out its head.

Experts will be studying the hundred specimens brought back from the expedition to determine which species are new discoveries.

The research was partly funded by WHOI, the National Geographic Society's Expeditions Council, the nonprofit Conservation International, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, and the Philippine government.

Courtesy: National Geographic News