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Computer Engineers

MAY YOUR LIFE COULD BE LIKE A COMPUTER IN 2010!

To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!


If you needed a break from life, click on "suspend".


Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.



To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.


To "add/remove" someone in your life, click settings and control panel.


To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.


If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.


When you lose your car keys, click on "find".


"Help" with the chores is just a click away.


You wouldn't need auto insurance. You'd use your diskette to recover from a crash.


We could click on "send" and the kids would go to bed immediately.


To feel like a new person, click on "refresh".


Click on "close" to shut up the kids and spouse.


To undo a mistake, click on "back".


Is your wardrobe getting old? Click "update".


you don't like cleaning the litter box, click on "delete".

If you messed up your life, you could press "Alt, Ctrl, Delete" and start all over!


HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009 !!!!!!!!!!!!!

A letter to Bill Gates from santa singh

-----------------------


Dear Mr. Bill Gates,


This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer
for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your
notice.

1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and
whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ******
appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but
we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware
vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.
Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I
request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.


2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down '
button.


3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request
you to check this.


4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run '
has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so
that we can click that by sitting.


5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find
only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.


6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost
the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find',
but unable to trace. Is it a bug??


7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my 'mouse' from
CAT, So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.


8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning
'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect
ur money.


9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft
sentence', so when u will provide that?

Alt+ Ctrl+ Delete

IF ONLY LIFE COULD BE LIKE A COMPUTER!


If you messed up your life, you could press "Alt, Ctrl, Delete" and start all over!


To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!


If you needed a break from life, click on "suspend".


Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.


To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.


To "add/remove" someone in your life, click settings and control panel.


To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.


If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.


When you lose your car keys, click on "find".


"Help" with the chores is just a click away.


You wouldn't need auto insurance. You'd use your diskette to recover from a crash.


We could click on "send" and the kids would go to bed immediately.


To feel like a new person, click on "refresh".


Click on "close" to shut up the kids and spouse.


To undo a mistake, click on "back".


Is your wardrobe getting old? Click "update".


you don't like cleaning the litter box, click on "delete".

Modern Panchtantra Story [ IT HUMOR ]

Modern Panchtantra Story [ IT HUMOR ]

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.





One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe),he started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.



As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No."


She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.


Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"


Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.


The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."


The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give


him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer


asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"


The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!


********


Moral :If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt